My Blog

Forgive, but how

TruthTalks: Forgive – But How?

Forgive, but how

Matthew 6:14 – 15 says “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

So forgiveness is imperative if we want to be forgiven for all our own misdeeds. But how? In this TruthTalks podcast, based on the post HERE, Dr Christopher Peppler tackles this topic, and the process we need to go through in order to positively resolve unforgiveness issues, so be sure to listen by clicking on the play button below.

TruthIsTheWord.com is non-profit and we rely on YOU to help us spread the word, so please like, comment, subscribe and interact with us.
forgiveness

Forgive – But How?

Forgiveness 

Few Jesus-followers would dispute the fact that we need to forgive those who offend or wrong us. However, just how and when to do this can be very problematic.

I am  writing this article, not just as a pastoral teaching, but as a means of working through a practical issue that has affected me and many others. Unforgiveness destroys relationships and can cause mental and even physical health problems in the offended party, so it is something we cannot ignore or postpone for too long.

Jesus’ Teaching

The Lord Jesus taught that we should forgive. He included it in the prayer format that he gave his disciples (Matthew 6:12-15) and ended with, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” This sentiment is repeated in Mark 11:26 and Luke 6:37.

Oh, OK, so I just need to pray, “Lord, I forgive so-and-so for this-and-that” and everything will be fine? No, that won’t do because Matthew 18 records a story Jesus told to illustrate the concept of forgiveness, which he concluded with: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”  (18:35). The key phrase here is ‘from your heart’, and that is where the rubber hits the road (or as we say in South Africa ‘the tackie hits the tar’). It is easy to forgive in the mind, but the ‘heart’? … not so much.

There is no doubt that Jesus instructs us to forgive in a real and heartfelt way.

The Problem

The problem is not in knowing that we need to forgive, but in knowing how and when to do this.  Matthew 18:15-19 sets out the Lord’s instructions regarding sin that affect the church community or its Christian reputation. It starts with ‘If your brother sins against you…’, but the better translations all add the footnote that the words ‘against you’ are omitted from some manuscripts. This omission makes more sense of the passage because the process that Jesus sets out lands up under the purview of the local church and has a form of ex-communication as the ultimate negative outcome. It does not make a lot of sense to omit the words ‘against you’ if the ‘sin’ in question is a purely interpersonal matter. So, this passage does not give us much help when it comes to personal offence and forgiveness.

Another problematic aspect is when the persons who have ‘sinned’ against you might not be aware of the hurt they have caused.

Jesus’ instruction on this is in Luke 17:3, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him“. So, if you have reason to think that the offender does not realise that they have offended you, then bring it to their attention and perhaps they will ask for forgiveness. However, I have found from painful personal experiences that it is often very hard to accept that the person in question could be unaware of the impact of his/her words. It is seems so obvious to you that anybody could be unaware of the damage done to your self-worth or sense of identity. This then raises another obstacle to approaching the offender … rejection and counterattack from them. Sometimes you even have the evidence of experiences to lead you to conclude that your challenge, no matter how gently made, will be aggressively rejected. Of course, the only way to find out is to approach the person anyway … and this risks further pain and humiliation.

Of course, if you are the offender, and know it, then the Lord’s clear instruction is that you immediately go and ask for forgiveness: “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).

So, you see, forgiveness is not always as simple as it may seem.

A Solution to the Problem

Full forgiveness in any relational sense is impossible to grant if the one causing the offence does not ask for it. However, Mark records something Jesus said that is helpful here. He said: ”When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:35)  It is hard to imagine, in this example that the man was supposed to stop praying, dash off to find the person he held a grudge against, forgive him although he may not have asked for forgiveness, and then resume praying. A more likely explanation is that Jesus requires an offended person to adopt an attitude of heart that is willing to forgive if so asked. In other words, prayerfully commit to forgiving if asked to do so.

This conforms to the pattern we have in God’s attitude towards us; we ask him to forgive us and he does so because his heart is disposed towards this. ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness’ (1 John 1:9). Luke 17:4 confirms this approach: “Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him.” NLT

Kevin Carson, department chair of biblical counselling at the Baptist Bible College and Theological Seminary in Springfield, Missouri, writes:

The process is a little more complex though. Although we try forgiving in our hearts before God, often the subconscious mind interferes with the integrity of this ‘attitudinal forgiveness’. We catch ourselves in moments of reflection remembering the pain and we even create an imaginary dialogue where we tell the offenders just how we feel and how they have wronged us. Sometimes, this can only be resolved when transactional forgiveness has taken place. Until then all we can do is pray for God to bless (not correct) them and, continue to restate our willingness to forgive whenever these thoughts intrude, and ensure that we are sufficiently in contact and available to receive a request for forgiveness if and when the person is convicted of the need to do so .

There are some obvious exceptions to this principle of ‘transactional forgiveness’. For instance, the person may be dead or otherwise uncontactable, or mentally unable to process and respond. In these cases, ‘attitudinal forgiveness’ must simply have to suffice and the Holy Spirit will over time deal with any residual negative emotions.

Another aspect I have not dealt with is the idea of ‘self forgiveness’ epitomised by the phrase “I just can’t forgive myself for….”. As I see it, the simple truth is that we cannot forgive ourselves for anything, but we can confess and ask forgiveness for everything. The biblical assurance is clear that, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) To continue to live in a state of self-condemnation is surely an affront to God and a lack of faith is the scriptures?

Process and Assumptions

Let me share with you two insights that I recently acquired.

The first is that forgiveness is a process. The sort of events or incidents that create serious mental anguish cause relationship failure. If we lose relationships that we have cherished then we mourn in some way. Mourning is a process that has no fixed expiry date. Often the process involves stages of denial, anger, depression, and finally acceptance. So, although we, and others, know that we need to confront the problem and approach the offender, it takes time to do. Our hearts need to be prepared, as does the heart of the offender. If we are open to the possibility of reconciliation then the Holy Spirit will work in all the lives concerned until the time comes when things can be positively resolved.

The second insight is that we often make assumptions about the state of the other person, which turn out to be untrue or one-sided. For instance, he/she may view the break in the relationship as our fault: we walked away, we didn’t care enough to try, and so on. This coupled with a lack of awareness of the damage they have done to you can result in them taking offence and feeling that you need to ask their forgiveness.

Summary

Forgiveness is required of us by God. It starts with an attitude of preparedness and commitment to forgive the person who has caused the offence.

However, it can only be effective in its fullness when forgiveness is sought and granted. When we release the offenders and give up the right to exact a penalty, then our conscience is clear before God and our relationship with him unsullied. When forgiveness is asked for and granted, the heart is then healed and a way open to restore the relationship.

Unforgiveness is a serious threat to our mental and spiritual health and negatively affects our relationship with Jesus and his people. Unforgiveness is a double-whammy problem because it impoverishes both the offended and the offender in some way irrespective of the merits of the case. Sometimes it even affects family and friends who grieve or take offence on behalf of one party or both. It is something we just cannot ignore.

‘Our Father in heaven:

May your holy name be honoured;

may your Kingdom come;

may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today the food we need.

Forgive us the wrongs we have done,

as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us.

Do not bring us to hard testing,

but keep us safe from the Evil One.’

TEV

Is Jesus' Return Imminent

TruthTalks: Is Jesus’ Return Imminent?

Is Jesus' Return Imminent

Lately it hasn’t been hard to imagine that Jesus’ return is imminent and that the end of the world as we know it is just around the corner.

Listen to Dr Christopher Peppler talking on this topic as he goes through what the bible tells us about it, and what we should do. Click on the play button below to listen now or read the article this TruthTalks audio is based on HERE.

TruthIsTheWord.com is non-profit and we rely on YOU to help us spread the word, so please like, comment, subscribe and interact with us.
Is Jesus' return imminent

Is Jesus’ Return Imminent?

Is Jesus' return imminent

Every God-fearing person I know is appalled by the horrific slaughter going on in Israel and Palestine. It is shocking to see the aftermath of hateful human butchery and to hear the approval and support for barbarism.

In times like this, the question many Christians ask; “Is this the start of the end? Surely Jesus must come back soon for he alone can end this madness?”

What did Jesus Say?

As always, the best place to start in trying to answer questions like this is to read what Jesus himself said. In a previous article, I explained the structure of the primary biblical passage concerning this subject, Matthew Chapter 24. In short, Jesus answered two questions in one:

  1. When will the temple be destroyed?
  2. What will be the signs of the second coming and the End of the Age?

The Lord’s answer to the second question is in verses 4 to 14, 23 to 33, and 36 to 51. Assembled together they read as follows:

‘Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumours of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or, ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect — if that were possible. See, I have told you ahead of time. “So if anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the desert,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.

“Immediately after the distress of those days “‘the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’  “At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other. “Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door.

“No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.  “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. “Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time?  It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. I tell you the truth, he will put him in charge of all his possessions. But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, ‘My master is staying away a long time,’ and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of. He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

When Will Jesus Return?

Here are the phrases from the above passage that answer the ‘when’ of the Lord’s Second Coming:

  1. No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
  2. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.
  3. Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come … the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him

It is quite clear that we can never know just when Jesus will come again so anyone who predicts this great event is immediately disqualified. Regarding the troubling times we live in, Paul wrote something that indicates that we should not be expecting Jesus’ return any time soon. He wrote; ‘Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labour pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.’ (1 Thessalonians 5:1-3)

In other words, Jesus will not return during a period of declared peace and safety. We are currently living in a time of widespread danger and conflict.

So perhaps it is better to consider what Jesus said about the signs that will indicate that his coming is imminent.

The Signs of His Coming

I will present them in the order they appear in Matthew 24 as this gives a sense of escalation as history moves towards its dramatic climax.

  1. Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many.
  2. You will hear of wars and rumours of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come.
  3. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.
  4. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.
  5. Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.
  6. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other.
  7. …many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.
  8. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.
  9. …this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.
  10. Immediately after the distress of those days “‘the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.
  11. At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn.
  12. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other… when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door.

Signs 1 through 9 have been happening regularly over the last 2,000 years in cycles that become closer together and more intense with every iteration.

The change from things that happen repeatedly, to terminal events is signalled with the words, ‘and then the end will come’. The three signs that Jesus then listed have not yet occurred. We do not even have any real conception of what these will entail and just how they will occur. Massive solar system disruptions, the sign of the Son of Man, and Jesus’ actual return in power and glory. What we do know is that these great signs will immediately precede the End of the Age because Jesus said, “when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door”. Therefore, until we see these signs we cannot say that the end is imminent.

What then should we do?

We can see that the repeating cycles of history that Jesus spoke of are coming upon us often and with increasing intensity. We can read the signs of the times and it disturbs us greatly. But, what should we do at this time? Well, what we must not do is to become conveyors of false and fear-inducing rumours and speculations. Some folks have the misguided belief that by passing on alarmist and usually inaccurate and misleading information is somehow doing something positive. It is not! Instead, we should be doing just what the Lord Jesus said we should do: “So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time?  It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns.”

To be ready is to be in right relationship with God and each other. To be a faithful Jesus-follower is to serve those in our circle of influence with the real food they need – love, hope, faith, encouragement, and the Gospel of Eternal Life in Christ Jesus.

TruthTalks: The Glory in The Lord’s Prayer Doxology

The glory

I bet most of you can recite “The Lord’s Prayer” in your sleep, but here are some pertinent thinking points that you may not have considered.

If you prefer reading the original post, you can find it HERE, otherwise click the play button to listen on this device and subscribe using your favourite podcast app.

TruthIsTheWord.com is non-profit and we rely on YOU to help us spread the word, so please like, comment, subscribe and interact with us.

About Me

My name is Christopher Peppler and I was born in Cape Town, South Africa in 1947. While working in the financial sector I achieved a number of business qualifications from the Institute of Bankers, Damelin Management School, and The University of the Witwatersrand Business School. After over 20 years as a banker, I followed God’s calling and joined the ministry full time. After becoming a pastor of what is now a quite considerable church, I  earned an undergraduate theological qualification from the Baptist Theological College of Southern Africa and post-graduate degrees from two United States institutions. I was also awarded the Doctor of Theology in Systematic Theology from the University of Zululand in 2000.

Four years before that I established the South African Theological Seminary (SATS), which today is represented in over 70 countries and has more than 2 500 active students enrolled with it. I presently play an role supervising Masters and Doctoral students.

I am a passionate champion of the Christocentric or Christ-centred Principle, an approach to biblical interpretation and theological construction that emphasises the centrality of Jesus

I have been happily married to Patricia since the age of 20, have two children, Lance and Karen, a daughter-in-law Tracey, and granddaughters Jessica and Kirsten. I have now retired from both church and seminary leadership and devote my time to writing, discipling, and the classical guitar.

If you would like to read my testimony to Jesus then click HERE.